Rossy's Corner

My birthday . . . . again

Yes it’s my birthday …. again. I wanted to spend it in a cabin deep in some woods somewhere, writing my next script but then Corona. So I’m here, at home. I’m not upset or anything like that in fact I’m happy to be alive, I’m still employed but furloughed on some days and I’m working on a few different things.

I like where my life is going. I feel that I’m working towards the goals that will lead me to where I want to be in the future. I’m working on my relationship with God and that has helped in making other areas of my life better.

I had a dream recently where I met this man and when I woke up I understood that he was my guy. This dream was such a wonderful gift! I know that God will send him to me when we are both ready for each other and for now I just need to stay the course of working on me.

My goals remain the same: get rid of my debt, save up a one year emergency fund and save for a house. This is a slow process but I will get there!

Happy birthday to me! And happy birthday to all the other July babies!

Rossy's Corner

Pray for me

I have a secret. A secret that I have kept to myself for all these years.

My secret is my father used to beat me, my sisters and my mother. As the oldest, I would try to protect my mom and sisters as much as I could. I would try to intervene and take the blows my father meant for them. That would only make him angrier and he would beat us more.

I would pray for him to die or for my mom to finally leave him. I hated him so much and even now as I write this I can feel the pain and hate begin to boil and flow through me.

Any little thing would set him off. If one of us brought home a bad grade (anything less than a B) then all of us would be yelled at and beaten. If we did not return the remote to the exact location he had left it, he would know that we had watched TV when he was not there and we would be beaten.

When I was in about third grade, I remember my mother was using a hot comb through my hair and then my sister’s hair before school. It was a painful process where she would put the comb onto the stove to heat it, once it was heated she would comb our hair with it and it caused our hair to become straight. We would cry as she straightened our hair but it was necessary. My father was sleeping at the time and he woke up so angry, yelling and screaming about us disturbing his sleep. So he solved our crying issue by getting his hair trimmer and completely shaving our hair until we were bald as he hit us and yelled at us to stop crying. Then I had to walk to school and go to class bald. I hid my bald head in a baseball cap and tried to disappear in class. Of course, my teacher noticed and made me remove my cap. I slowly removed it as I watched every head in my class turn and look at me. I was already different from all the other students because I was a dark skinned, African tall girl and now bald was added. A boy started laughing at me and I told him to shut up because I had cancer. ( I did not have cancer.)

There were many a time I would walk to school limping and then throughout the school day I would have to stop limping so that no one would know. I was always on the verge of tears and I would pray to be strong and not cry. I made a game for myself after noticing the pleasure my father took when he saw us cry as he beat us. I would try to stay as silent as possible for as long as possible as he beat me. When he would strike me down to the ground, I would keep getting back up, square my shoulders and wait for the next blow. I would keep doing this until my body was no longer able to stand. Then I would stare at him with all the hatred I had wanting God to strike him dead at that moment. My father would respond by slapping my face over and over and over again. I was determined to no longer cry as I was beaten. I took great pleasure in making him angrier because I did not cry and sometimes I would start laughing and pay for it with even more blows to my body.

There was one time I remember where we were all getting our usual beating and a neighbor must have called the police because in the middle of our beating there was a knock at the door. My mother told me to answer the door and to keep quiet about what was going on, she was really scared. I carefully got up from where I had landed after my father’s last blow and I opened the door. I was face to face with a police officer. He told me that a neighbor called because there was noise coming from our apartment. I wanted to tell the police officer that my father was hurting us and I wanted him to stop. But I knew that getting the police involved was wrong and no one would believe me. So I told him that we were fine and the noise was not coming from our apartment. But inside me I wanted the police officer to save us. He seemed to believe me and left. I closed the door having learnt that no one was coming to save us.

The beatings stopped when I was in college but they probably only stopped because my father left the country.

My mother still talks to him on the phone and at times she tries to get me to say hello to him. I really try and limit my contact with him. I do give my mom money to send to him every other month because I feel it is my duty to take care of him but I want no direct contact with him.

A little while ago I watched the movie called I Can Only Imagine (2018) and in that movie I watched the main character, Bart Millard and his mother get beaten and verbally abused by his father. Throughout the movie I started to see it from the father’s point of view of how the father was a failure in life and took out that frustration out on his family. I started to think of my father as not the monster who beat me but as maybe someone who had issues and should not have started a family. After the movie, I felt like God wanted me to forgive my father. To forgive my father for all the pain he caused me, for the shame I felt growing up, and for not loving me.

So if you are a person who prays, please pray for me, pray for God to help me forgive my father. Because I’m having a really hard time forgiving him and I need God’s help. Thank you.

My Instagram Journey

I’m here Instagram! – Week 2

This is week 2 of my Instagram account @CatLadyGlamazon

I watch Gary Vaynerchuk’s Facebook Live at Tea With GaryVee, Gary’s advice is to post every day and engage every day! Okay Gary I hear you and have now made the following plan:

The plan is simple:

I like 10 pictures in 10 separate accounts that have cats, every day.

Then I comment on 10 pictures of 10 separate accounts that have cats, every day.

After that I then post 1 picture a day, at 9amish, every day.

I follow smaller accounts of cats and when someone follows me I follow back.

I take at least 20 pictures a day of my cats, I pick the best ones and send them to my sister via Whatsapp where she writes the caption.

I move the picture from Whatsapp to Canva where I put it into Instagram ready mode and add my @CatLadyGlamazon into the picture.

I move the picture to my Samsung Cloud storage space in the “Canva” folder.

When I am ready to post I pick the picture from Canva and post it to Instagram.

I then copy and paste my hashtags from my saved document on Google drive.

And POOF I press post and it posts!

I have found myself now being super critical at every picture I would take; of every 20 pictures I take I feel that only 1 or none are good enough to post. And that’s when the fear sets in – what will people think of this picture? My house is messy in the background; I can’t use that picture. This fear has gotten so bad that I almost stopped posting until I heard Gary say post the pic. Then my sister told me that I am being over critical and my pictures are good. So yes I am working on listening to what Gary and my sister both said, my cats are beautiful and yes most times I have a lot of stuff everywhere but I’m here working on my craft.

I have found that I understand light a little better by taking pictures of my cats by the window and now I know that one side of the cat will be in shadows or too light or beams of light show up in the picture. It has been an interesting week!

I will continue working my plan and pushing my fears away as I continue on my Instagram journey!

My Instagram Journey

I’m here Instagram! – Week 1

On Monday, April 27, 2020 I started reading Crushing It! By Gary Vaynerchuk and he inspired me to start an Instagram account! Before the book, I had a plan.

My plan was:

1-Take a photography class in September

2-Buy a cool camera

3-Contact people on LinkedIn with no profile picture and ask if I can take their picture

4-Take their LinkedIn picture for $100

Now with Coronavirus, my plan has been messed up and I decided to postpone it until 2021 or 2022.

In Crushing It!, Gary said just start and so here I am starting. I took a bunch of pictures of my beloved cats with my cellphone until they were annoyed with me. I scrutinized each picture then I asked my sister for her opinion on them. I picked 4 pictures out of 50 and 1 that I took two weeks ago.

I took those 4 pictures and moved them onto the Canva app. I added my Instagram name onto each picture. I sent the pictures to my sister and asked her to write a caption. She did it! I added a bunch of hashtags that I felt applied. Then I posted my first picture on Instagram in my new account @CatLadyGlamazon

I am scared that people will think that I take trashy pictures.

I am scared that real photographers will make fun of me because I don’t know anything.

Despite all my fears, I’m here Instagram!

This is week 1 and I will become a better photographer!

My Instagram is @CatLadyGlamazon


Tips for video meetings

Coronavirus is out here and a lot of people are working from home and to adjust to our new reality, some companies are now having video meetings. Here are my tips to a successful video meeting.

  • Sign in early and check your background. Keep the items behind you simple and not busy.
  • Put your laptop on a stand or bunch of books to increase the height of your laptop so that you are eye level instead of looking down at the laptop. Trust me no one looks cute that way.
  • Pick your shirt with care. Light colors are better especially when you are dark-skinned.
  • Wear pants. You might forget, stand up and be embarrassed. Don’t be that guy.
  • If you wear eyeglasses, they can see the reflection of your cell phone in the lens of your eyeglasses. Lower the brightness of your cellphone and don’t look at inappropriate sites at that time.
  • Have good lighting. Overhead lighting is a must. If you are near a window, keep the window infront of you, not behind you since you will be dark if it’s behind you.
  • Pick a quiet low traffic area where your family will not be walking and talking around in the background.,
  • Mute your microphone when you are not talking. Then remember to turn on your microphone when you are talking.